But

I understand why hell is hot.

This is the epiphany I had today while sitting outside at work.

I work outside and for the most part it allows me the pleasure of enjoying Mother Nature in her element. The weather sorta changing (it is southern california) and though the leaves may not fall in a great array of autumn colors, I do get to appreciate fresh air at my workplace.

But, there's a "but." The "but" was born July 12th, 2010. A mere few days ago. Before the "but" the June gloom was, yes, gloomy, yet I didn't mind. Making cup after cup of hot coffee was not bothersome nor did it push me another inch closer to heat exhaustion. No, during June gloom such worries were nonexistent.

But, July 12th came. And with it: summer.

I grew up in Chicago and outside of the city till I was 13. I lived through 12 summers and through 12 states of pure humidified hell. Now I'm thinking hell resembles something in between the humidity of my youth and the helplessness of having to be in it now (as a hard-working adult).

I believe hell torments its souls in that in-between of what it is-and its no exit sign. The real torment comes from your endless search of it. At least I can't complain about the fact that my work day has an end and I have means (a pool) to cool myself and find my humanity again. My happy, cool, and contented soul still grounded in this earthly reality.

The heat does funny things to its recipients. People get tired, grouchy, exhausted, particular (think whiny), crazed, lazy, mean, etc. etc. Heaven I imagine is like a cool 70 degrees all the time. Like light-sweater weather. Weather that allows you to dress with ease, not the anxiety of trying to dress in the heat ( even hell has to have some sort of dress code. I mean, nudity would be too easy).

People always ask me: would you rather be hot or cold?

Answer: Cold. You can add layers, but you can't take of your skin.

That's how my midwest summers were like: the constant desire to take off my skin. Morbid, you think. But I'm betting you haven't ran to the shade after riding your bike and near tears because it's still hot and your parents don't believe in air conditioning because the electric bill gets too high and you're fine just go out into the sprinkles and get wet and you'll feel better but you dry up so quick it's pointless and all you want to do is cry because you can't escape the horrible awful pit in your stomach that is just HOT.

That, is wanting to take off your skin, let it chill in the freezer, and put it back on.

Like your summer pajamas.

"But" better.

Stay cool readers.