Tuesday, June 8, 2010


If there's anything I watch more than movies, it's T.V. I know-no big deal. What else would you be watching if not T.V. when you don't opt for a feature film. But I watch T.V.-not flip through the channels and decide that a Jersey Shore marathon is how I will spend my Sunday afternoon. No, I watch T.V. with purpose-I have to.

When Alex and I first moved into our apartment we moved in with big dreams of cable with DVR and all the recorded shows we love ready at the click of the play button and no commercials. Again, we're big T.V. buffs and LOST to me is a way of life. LOST parties were clear and beautiful in my mind because there would be no nonsense, unnecessary ads would interrupt precious viewing time. And there would be flexibility. Everyone didn't have to request Tuesday nights off from work and set the rest of the schedule off. LOST came to us, not the other way around.

DVR was power. Power over network scheduling.

So, Alex and I were excited to say the least.

However, I am now fully convinced that demons run all cable companies. Demons that take pleasure in automated torture and never-ending scripted conversations that leave its victims wondering that maybe they are wrong, maybe they DO need to pay $300 to have the tech guy rummage around say that the T.V. was on the wrong channel for the cable.

Needless to say, Alex and I got so upset we were fighting at each other by the end of it and at that point I knew the demon had won; he turned us on our loved ones.

Nope. Forget it. F@#$ it.

Plan B: different company-only internet plus Netflix. Add instant watch over XBox 360 Live yearly subscription and presto: DVR.

I would like to proclaim here to you all on this public blog that Netflix instant watch will crush cable T.V. asweknowit. Once you have it, live it, press it, for one day-you're finished. Instant watch has all the great perks of DVR-no commercials, strictly T.V. viewing-business, non-Cox-cable-demon affiliated, pleasure.

Every month instant watch gets cooler and awesomer. Recent addition includes all seasons of Reno 911, and ALL, I mean ALL the great Nickelodeon shows of my 90's youth: Doug, Rugarts, Hey! Arnold, Ahh! Monsters, and Angry Beavers.

The dawn of an old age is upon us.

May I remind you that all this "instant watch" is included with actual dvd rentals we get in the mail too-the old fashioned way.

I'm watching the fifth season of The Sopranos, Fringe, Hey! Arnold, Reno 911, Party Down, and Lost (seasons 1-5) all at the same time. Juggling new and old favorites; I'm in T.V. heaven. And if I need instant cable network gratification, I say hello to Hulu. So new Office, Lost, Jaime Oliver's Food Revolution, and 30 Rock is still there. Viewed by my eyes and my heart. Whenever the hell I want.

I'm always on a quest for great T.V. and most times, I actually enjoying coming half-way through all the madness because the series has been put on dvd, on instant watch, and can be viewed in partial or full marathons, consuming you like a movie. Endless hours of good writing and plot devices, which nowadays we try hard to get.

The day reality T.V. became the "it" thing, my T.V. heart died a little. And with each progressing year that its popularity rose, it died more.

To say I was heartbroken is underestimating the simultaneous anger I felt throughout the past decade. God...a decade...

Hence, in this decade, good shows (drama or comedy) are diamonds in the ruth. Good shows cost more, may rise, may tank, may blow all the money put into it or triple its profits in the end of one season, but whatever the finances may be, T.V. plays are expensive and reality-cheap. Cheap, whore like concoctions (pardon my honesty).

So I instant-watch; the best televised verb of our generation.

Look out LOL.


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